And baby makes three.
It's official. The number of people who are my age or younger who have babies has now surpassed the number of fingers (and thumbs) I have on both my hands. And for me, it's mental. I simply cannot imagine having a baby to look after at this age. Don't get me wrong, I look after myself just fine at university (if we ignore the vodka intake, the far too often lack of weather-appropriate clothing and infrequency in hoovering) but there are days when I simply can't be bothered. Whether's that's cleaning or cooking or whatever. I still get stressed over what I wear to lectures every single day and it's more like a nightmare than a night out when we decide to hit the union. So adding a baby to the mix would probably just about finish me off.
From what I can see (or rather from what Facebook shows me) the people having babies are, on the whole, fantastic parents: I am not here to comment or criticise on that. And of course the baby pictures are absolutely adorable to look at, especially when the other option is to look at fascist leaders or French vocab but that whole way of life is just alien to me but if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't even know if I should have children ever, let alone any time soon.
My family describe me, and I quote, as quirky, weird and full of 'Jade-isms'. My friends say I'm unique, a character and that I'd make a great psychology case study. All of the above are true (and though meant in love, are essentially a subtle way of saying JADE, YOU'RE A FREAK.) To put it in black and white, I'm no longer a teenager yet I still can't mix most foods; I still sleep with a night light; I am the only person in England who is more socially awkward than Francis Boulle (sorry, Boulle) and I have issues with people touching me. I daren't even think how my offspring would turn out. Plus there's the small factor of finding a man crazy enough to stick around and have kids with me (because let's face, any children of mine are going to need serious help if I did it alone.)
But maybe I'll change. Maybe I'll grow up and grow out of this quirky phase (though I'm doing a damn good job of resisting thus far). Maybe I'll become what society decrees is "normal". All I do know is that babies are a long. way. off.
Having said that, watching BBC's Glamour Model Mum, Baby and Me did make me think about the future. About my mum and about me being a mum. And embarrassingly, I've started a list. Not a long list mind, but a list all the same. It contains all the things I want to remember from my life so far that I want to tell any potential children I may or may not have. I highly doubt it's going to be terribly philosophical and truth be told, in two years time it will probably no longer exist but right now, I feel like I'm growing older without growing up. And that's good - I have absolutely no desire to grow up just yet and two more years at university are going to ensure that I don't - but I'm living and learning things that I don't want to forget. So that's the plan, to keep adding to this list so that when (or rather if) I'm ever ready to have children, I'll have some knowledge to impart to them. Real lessons in life and love and everything in between, as opposed to the ones I've absorbed vis-a-vis Gossip Girl and Doctor Who. Though of course any children of mine will be fastidious fans of the latter.
But for now, kids are still definitely way off the cards. Don't worry world, there's still only one of me to deal with.
0 comments