Literary Life | I Am Forbidden by Anouk Markovits

Not my usual novel, I'll admit that straight away. Based heavily in the Hasidic community - a way of life I have next to no knowledge of - this book was certainly illuminating. It was also very complex; the plot, the religious intonations, it all made for a challenging, rather than a passive, read.

I hunger for words, for literature I can commit to mind and memory, so when faced with a language I have never previously been exposed to, I quickly encountered cessations in my reading. Whilst the authenticity of the novel cannot ever be denied, for me, I found the process too halting to be enjoyable. The characters I liked, especially young Josef and his tortured life from childhood through to adulthood. All the women I found to be real, despite having few commonalities to the way I live my own life.

Starting with Zalman, the novel follows his life with Hannah (his wife), his children and the daughter he seemingly adopts as his own. Mila, a Jew that Zalman saves after her parents perish, quickly befriends Zalman's eldest daughter Atara but as they mature it is clear they are destined for different paths. Atara begins to question her religion in ways that Mila cannot understand, whilst Mila hopes for marriage and is happy to become betrothed to young Josef, a devoted studier of the Torah. Together they hope to have their own flourishing family, as Hannah and Zalman did before them. Though Mila tries hard - including enduring courses of fertility treatment - it turns out to be Josef who cannot conceive. Since it is an offence for a man to be tested for fertility as the act is "akin to murder", Josef is not medically diagnosed until it is too late; Mila seeks conception with another man but claims that God was on her lips as it happened.

A daughter - Rachel, named after Mila's mother - is born and Josef battles within himself to inform the rabbi of Rachels' true heritage. As the knowledge continues to haunt Josef, he begins fasting and becomes increasingly unwell. Much of the story follows Mila and Josef, though I longed more to hear of Atara, the daughter of Zalman who is destined to be forgotten. She is weaved back into the story when Judith, Mila's grandaughter, is set to marry one of Zalman's grandsons. Josef worries about the union and wrestles whether to tell Zalman the truth.

The book climaxes in several ways; reunions occur, death makes an entrance and lives are lived. I think that perhaps my ignorance, or simply my lack of exposure to this religious community largely impeded my enjoyment of the novel. The literary construction is lovely; the chapters, the way the book is broken up, is well thought out. Nevertheless, I did struggle at times to enjoy the book despite how intelligent the text truly is.